Don’t be anxious about tomorrow, today has enough troubles of it’s own. Right? I’ve always taken for granted this idea that I can make plans months, weeks and days in advance. Who promised me days? Who knows what will happen in the next hour?
I’ve had to learn to tell people, “I want to be there, and I will plan on being there, but I might not make it.” I hate that. I want to be able to make commitments, but that’s not a right we have. Every minute is a gift.
Yesterday we lost grandpa. He was living at home with mom and dad for the past month or so; dad was trying to get grandpas’s strength up so he could maybe get an apartment, or if needed assisted living. He went into the hospital last week with congestive heart failure and that was that. There’s a deep sadness knowing that he’s most likely not with the Lord. I don’t know his heart, only the Lord does, so I guess one day we’ll know.
There is so much going on physically, and then there’s the emotional side. Mom got a picture of Susie and her boyfriend reuniting after a summer apart and mom started to cry. I haven’t seen her cry since Morgan graduated. Even since the diagnosis I hadn’t seen her cry. I asked her why she was crying. She just looked at me and said, “I don’t want to miss this. There are so many things I don’t want to miss.” We sat and cried together and then we talked about the things we would do to live life to the fullest while she was able and to do whatever we can to fight for her life.
I heard this is called the “war zone”. Mom isn’t well and living life like normal, but she’s not gone yet. She’s sick and it’s going downhill. Every day is the best day of the rest of her life. ALS is a horrible disease. I don’t know how people make it through this without the Lord. I don’t know how people make it through without the prayers of the saints.
I will never be able to repay those who have helped our family and mother during this time and the help they will give in the time to come. People have send me flowers, gift cards for gas and Starbucks, groceries and meals. There are no words thank can express my gratitude for what’s been done for me or my family. We feel so lifted from your prayers and meeting our physical needs.
I’ve started a blessing jar to remind me that even though it seems like the Lord is distant and has forgotten about us, He is still working and showing love. I hope to become more like mom, who continues to mimic Daniel and give thanks to the Lord even more so under trials.
Please continue to pray for healing for mom’s body, peace over the family, grace towards one another under these stressful times.