This idea of trusting the Lord has been the topic of conversation for a while, and doesn’t seem to be going away. I always thought the goal was to please the Lord. Which, in my mind translates into: works. I need to do this, that and the other and BOOM – the Lord is pleased. When I do these things, He is not pleased. If I don’t do them, He is!
It wasn’t really until the past year that I’ve had to confront this idea face to face. I remember reading verses like, “And all our righteous deeds are like a filthy garment” (Is. 64:6) and I would think, ‘Ahh – you were doing it wrong, your heart just wasn’t in the right place with those works.’ Silly me.
But then if not by works, how could I possibly please the Lord? I suppose, if I am reading the scriptures correctly, it comes down to trust. As I think about my future, I wonder how I’m going to possibly accomplish my goals and aspirations, I wonder if I’ll be successful in my professional life, if I’ll marry and have children. Will I live in Charlottesville, find the right job? I think about my present, will I make it through this day with these people who drive me up a wall? Can I accomplish the task on my desk? Will my boss see that I need help? And then my past, am I really forgiven, have I been redeemed, how will people view me, what will people think of me? Oh, these lists go on forever. Constantly I’m wrapped up in my self-image, a desire to provide for myself and to control people’s thoughts of me.
Welcome to reality, Emily – I really have no control over my life when I think about all these things. Unless I grab to this “Strong Tower”, I won’t make it. I’ll end up worrying my life away, tied down by a ball and chain unable to live and enjoy what the Lord does have for me. It’s less about what everyone else thinks of me/how awesome I try to make myself in everyone else’s life and more about my relationship with the Lord.
I often lack faith/trust in the Lord when it comes to believing He has plans to prosper me and not harm me. Am I the only one?