wow

Note to self – never emotional blog, it ends terribly. I had a huge post ready, then I re-read it and was like, ‘uumm no’. hehe. So instead I wrote this.

But for real here is something that I wanted to say. You know how we are build for relationships? We want to know others and be known by others, right? But I might be in a stand-offish mood, like, ‘I won’t let anyone in’ or ‘I won’t let anyone close to me again’ or something stupid like that, and then I see these highly personal surveys on facebook and I seriously want to fill them out cause deep down, I want people to know me. Deep down there is a desire to be known and I want to explain myself to others and let them in. Even if it is a stupid survey that asks what my favorite color is, I don’t care, I just want everyone to know what is important to me!

It’s really the most natural thing to let people into your life, what’s unnatural is building walls. We say that it is instinct to build walls and protect ourselves, but I think that’s a lie. We only do that because we’ve been hurt and we have had to make ourselves believe that people harm us when we let them in. But that’s not the way it should be. We want to be open and have a deep friendship, but we allow fear and past hurts to block something that could be great. Isn’t that the power of sin? God created us to relate and support and love each other, but now we fear, hate and tear down the people closest to us. And yet, despite all that, when we’re honest with ourselves, we hate that we feel that way. We hate that we have built walls and that we don’t allow ourselves to relate and sympathizes with others. We want to know them and we want them to know us, but for some reason, the memories of pain seem to be more powerful than the memories of the good. The thing is that we need more Jesus. We need Jesus to heal our pains from the past. It’s true, the closer someone becomes to you, the more likely a hurt will occur and will be deeper than an average hurt. People make mistakes, true fact. However, with Jesus problems and road blocks can be forgiven and moved out of the way. Anyways, I’m not saying ‘don’t protect yourself’, but then again, maybe I am. As Dave Hasz always said, ‘UGJ!’

Yeah, I know, all that from seeing someone fill out a survey on facebook, haha!

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